~~*~~
She lay in her darkened room, clinging to the giant teddy bear that had been a constant comfort to her for the last five years. Her tears spilled onto the warm fur of his face as her body shook with grief. Another confrontation with her parents. What are you going to do with your life? You can't live here forever. You need a plan. You don't do anything to help out around the house. Why do we have to remind you of everything? The list of her failures went on and on. She did her best to hide her pain and frustration. Didn't they know she despised herself? That getting through each day without falling to pieces required a herculean effort? That she found herself so incapable of figuring out her future because she didn't see one for herself? That she thought herself so worthless that there was no point in even trying? At times her failure became so overwhelming that she stared at the bottle of sleeping pills on her nightstand or the block of sharp knives sitting on the kitchen counter and wondered how hard it would be to end everything. No more worries, no nothing.
But there was a spark of life in her yet that stayed her hand. A faint flicker of hope that fueled the dream of a time when she was successful and independent, somebody worth knowing and caring about. But as the days slowly passed and she found herself struggling and failing to change anything, that flicker of hope grew dimmer and dimmer as the darkness closed in. It was only a matter of time before hope was extinguished and she sought the finality of the darkness.
