The Girl

If you know me at all, then you know that I am not a fan of zombies. I think the whole concept is seriously overused and just not that interesting. However, more recently I heard of a zombie movie that I thought I might actually like. It's called Train to Busan in case anyone is interested. Anyway, the general story is about a father trying to save his young daughter during a zombie apocalypse. Obviously there's more that happens, but that's kind of the bare bones of the plot. In reading about this movie, I suddenly thought, wouldn't it be terrifying if the kids were the zombies, not the adults. That's not an aspect that's been hugely explored, at least not as far as I'm aware; I'm not a zombie aficionado. And so the idea for this story was born. I think it's pretty clear that it's not complete, but I wanted to share what I have so far to see if people thought it was worth continuing and just get some general opinions. So please, read and comment, constructive criticism is very much appreciated as always.


It started with one child, a single child living in the countryside outside of Berlin. A smart, sweet child who suddenly disappeared. After days of frantic searching, she was found at last covered in dirt and mud and blood. Naturally her anxious parents rushed her to the hospital, but it was soon determined that there was nothing physically wrong with her. The blood was not her own. As the days passed, her parents came to realize that their sweet little girl was gone and in her place was a primitive, increasingly violent and terribly strong creature that began to attack anyone who came near. The doctors were utterly perplexed by her condition. Months passed with little progress in treating her. Their one discovery was that although she behaved primitively, she was almost disturbingly intelligent, certainly far beyond that of a normal eight year old. It was several more months before they began to notice that the girl was not hostile towards the other children on the floor when they passed by her window. If any adult passed by too closely, she would violently attack the window, smashing at it with her fists, her eyes wild. But when a child passed by, she simply watched them intently, almost longingly, sometimes even reaching out to them. The doctors decided to perform an experiment of sorts. The children on that floor had long been given up on by their parents and other family members and accidents did happen from time to time. If anything went wrong, it could easily be covered up.

Twilight:Rewritten (Chapter 3)

I had someone ask me when the lead male is going to appear. All I have to say right now is patience. It'll probably be another couple of chapters. I really want to develop my female lead and give a clear picture of her life so the differences between before and after him are obvious. You'll likely meet him before the end of the week, so just be patient. All in good time.

It was after one in the afternoon by the time I woke up. I dragged myself out of bed and went to the window, pushing aside the curtains to look out the window groggily. The day was once again overcast, but the clouds hung lower today and the threat of rain was heavy in the air. My grumbling stomach reminded me that I hadn't eaten in nearly 24 hours. I began to head for the kitchen before remembering that I had yet to go shopping and the house was completely devoid of food. Groaning, I dug through boxes for shampoo, conditioner, soap and my other bathroom supplies. Thus armed, I marched into the bathroom to try to make myself presentable enough to go out into public.

Despite my desire to get out and go shopping, I had to admit that the shower was pleasantly refreshing. I studied my face in the mirror as I dried my hair, trying to decide if I felt like putting out the effort of applying makeup. Normally I at least wore concealer and foundation with a bit of blush to even out my complexion, but I had noticed the previous day that without the harsh sun of the desert hitting my skin, it actually looked quite pretty. I walked back into the bedroom and opened the curtains wide before turning to face the mirror that leaned against the wall. My skin looked smooth, almost flawless, which was a feat in and of itself and I was certainly paler than usual; no one here would guess that I was a Latina though my skin was still too dark for me to be taken as a pure white girl. I shook my hair over my shoulder and took a moment to admire how the darkness of my hair highlighted the paleness of my face. I'd never considered myself to be really pretty. I figured I was average at best, but looking at myself now, I actually felt pretty for the first time in who knew how long.

Twilight: Rewritten (Chapter 2)

One thing I want to mention before I get too far along is that what I'm doing is just writing. I am really not doing any kind of editing at this point, so I realize that what you're reading is very raw. I'm sorry if that bugs anyone, but my goal at this point is just to get everything written and then go back because I have an issue of getting partway through a story and just stopping. If you've read my blog, that's probably pretty obvious. I do best writing short stories where I can get all my ideas out at once. I'm hoping this one will fare better since I actually have the story fairly complete in my head which is a first honestly. Anyway, I will hopefully get chapter 3 written and posted between now and Tuesday. I have classes all day tomorrow so I don't expect I'll get anything done then.

I was woken up by a light tapping on my knee. I opened my eyes slowly, blinking owlishly as I looked around in confusion. It took me a second to reorient myself and remember where I was.

"Sorry to wake you, girl, but we're here," Duane told me, gesturing at the small house before me.

His words shook the final remnants of sleep from me as I leaned forward and took my first look at my new home. I was relieved to see my red Xterra already sitting in the driveway. It had been simpler just to have it moved along with the rest of my possessions rather than making the almost 1,500 mile drive myself. I was already paying to have everything else moved and moving it as well had proved to be much cheaper than I had expected.

Twilight: Rewritten (Chapter 1)

I am aware that this is a very short chapter, but I'm finding as I begin to write that a fair amount of research is required. This is mostly due to the fact that I want to make this my own and not be an obvious rewrite of Twilight because the way I have it planned, it's going to be quite different. As I plan out more and more of the story, I'm finding that I'm taking the very general idea of Twilight, boy meets girl kind of thing but, surprise, boy is actually a vampire and then adding my own twists and turns. One of my biggest goals is to make my female lead have an actual personality. I always hated Bella because she was so boring and I really want to avoid that here. I want my lead to be someone that people can appreciate and identify with and sympathize or empathize with. I want her to be real. Anyway, generally speaking, I think I'm going to continue making the chapters relatively short. I don't have a ton of free time and shorter chapters makes it easier for me to stay focused and actually get something written rather than waiting and hoping for larger chunk of time to be available. In any case, here's chapter 1 and again any thoughts or opinions would be much appreciated!

I pressed my head against the hard glass of the airplane window, straining to see every part of land below. I was struck once again by all the green I saw. It dominated the landscape in a way I had never seen, but then green isn't exactly a common color in the Land of Enchantment. Green mostly came in the form of the weeds that grew everywhere. Browns and greys, though? Those colors were everywhere. I wasn't a fan of them, the colors of the desert. To me they signified desolation, a place where life wasn't meant to grow or thrive. But green, green was life and what I saw below me was a lot of life.

Twilight: Rewritten (Prologue)

I realize it's been month since I've posted anything. Honestly, as much as I've been saving writing prompts on Pinterest and all, I simply haven't had any actual desire to write. However, as I was cleaning out the trunk of my car earlier today, I came across a box of books that had been sitting there for I'm going to say well over a year. They're all books bound for Goodwill, but me being me, I went through to make sure there was nothing that I wanted to keep. Among the various books was the Twilight series, four of the books I hate most. Out of random curiosity and a half-assed desire to try to once again understand why these books are so popular, I flipped through the first one and was once again massively unimpressed. The concept was still spectacularly stupid to me and the writing awful. Not that I can really talk since I can't say if my writing is any better, but then again, nothing I've ever written has gotten on the New York Times Best Seller list. And as most people know the popular Fifty Shades of Grey series originated as a Twilight fanfiction before the names were changed and it was published. Well, flipping through the book, I decided that I wanted to attempt my own "fanfiction" piece, except that I'm not a fan and my idea was rather darker and more in the typical vampire theme. If you've read Twilight, you know it starts with a prologue. Below is my prologue. I'd love some genuine feedback if it sounds interesting and if I should continue. I may continue anyways, but feedback always helps. ;)

Forever. That’s what he’d told me, what he promised me. An eternity together. He wouldn’t lie to me, he couldn't. Why would he when he so clearly loved me; it was in his every look, his every move. It couldn’t all be a lie, could it? I raised my hands to cover my face, to block out the sight before me, and found myself staring at blood, my blood, covering my hands like a scarlet glove. My breath caught in my throat as I stared, my mind struggling to understand all that had transpired within the last hour.

I slowly raised my eyes to his, hoping beyond hope to see even a glimmer of affection. I saw nothing. I looked up into the eyes that had once been so filled with love and finally understood. I had fallen for a monster. I let out a short, hysterical laugh as the pieces slowly fell into place, as I was finally forced to face and accept the inevitable. I was an instrument, his instrument, only wanted and useful until the job was completed. And now, the job was done; I was of no more use to him. A cold smile spread across his lips as he saw the veil lift, as I saw him for who he truly was: a master of manipulation.

I stood up painfully, every inch of my body screaming in protest. His eyes flared with interest, clearly wondering if his prey was going to put up a fight. I, however, had no intention of fighting him, I saw no point in delaying the inevitable. But even as he stalked me, I was once again struck by his beauty, his gracefulness. I was no longer under his spell though and for the first time, I saw just how terrible and dangerous his beauty was. How could I have been so blind? Looking back, it was so easy to see that he was using me. As tears slowly trailed down my cheeks, I turned away from him and pressed my palms against the cool glass of the window. The sun was just beginning to rise over the treetops in all its glory. I drank in the sight for a long moment, thankful that beauty, not darkness would be the last thing I saw. I slowly closed my eyes and waited.

Darkness Calls

The darkness reached out to her, its dark arms warm and inviting.  She took a stumbling step forward, one arm rising reluctantly from her side to reach for the comfort of those arms.  Her face was a picture torment, torn between desire and defiance.  She stood frozen for a moment, then with a wild cry she pulled away forcing herself to turn her back to the darkness.  Her whole body trembled from the effort of resisting.  How much longer could she hold out?  How much longer before she gave into the darkness's tender embrace?

~~*~~

She lay in her darkened room, clinging to the giant teddy bear that had been a constant comfort to her for the last five years.  Her tears spilled onto the warm fur of his face as her body shook with grief.  Another confrontation with her parents.  What are you going to do with your life?  You can't live here forever.  You need a plan.  You don't do anything to help out around the house.  Why do we have to remind you of everything?  The list of her failures went on and on.  She did her best to hide her pain and frustration.  Didn't they know she despised herself?  That getting through each day without falling to pieces required a herculean effort?  That she found herself so incapable of figuring out her future because she didn't see one for herself?  That she thought herself so worthless that there was no point in even trying?  At times her failure became so overwhelming that she stared at the bottle of sleeping pills on her nightstand or the block of sharp knives sitting on the kitchen counter and wondered how hard it would be to end everything.  No more worries, no nothing.

But there was a spark of life in her yet that stayed her hand.  A faint flicker of hope that fueled the dream of a time when she was successful and independent, somebody worth knowing and caring about.  But as the days slowly passed and she found herself struggling and failing to change anything, that flicker of hope grew dimmer and dimmer as the darkness closed in.  It was only a matter of time before hope was extinguished and she sought the finality of the darkness.